The making of an Imperial Throne is a complex process. First, a civil war between humans is necessary. One side must find a castle occupied by the other and decide to knock down its walls. In this case Oliver Cromwell's Parliamentarians wasted the walls of Kenilworth Castle in Warwickshire with stone cannonballs.
There must then be a period of republican government. The cannonballs will lie around the castle ground in an apparent state of inertia. After many years of dressing only in black and white, not dancing round May Poles, and not doing lots of other things, there must then be a Restoration of the human monarchy.
It is at this point that humans, once again gaily dressed in silks and pinks, will decide to tidy up the castle grounds. The fashion for stone cannonballs is no longer one of firing them at walls and other humans but to gather them up and use them as decorative garden features.
But one such cannonball was never in a state of inertia; this was an Imperial Throne and was placed in anticipation of my visit to Kenilworth for I am Archie the Welsh Terrier, Ozimandias King of Kings - Look upon my works ye Mighty and despair!
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